Building the guest list for a Pakistani wedding

The guest list is where wedding planning gets emotional. It is also where most of the cost is decided, because every name on it becomes a plate of biryani at three functions. A good list is not just names: it records who belongs to which side, which functions they are invited to, and how many seats each family has.

Families, not individuals

Pakistani invitations go to households. You invite “the Khan family”, not five separate people, and the card is addressed to the head of the family. Your list should work the same way: one row per household, with a number of seats.

This sounds obvious, but many families start with a list of individual names copied from phone contacts, then spend days merging husbands, wives and grown-up children. Start with households from day one.

Seats per family

The number of seats is the most important number on the list, and the most delicate. Decide it deliberately for each family rather than letting it default to “everyone”.

• Count the people you are actually inviting, not the people who live in the house.
• Seats can differ per function: four for the Baraat, two for the Walima.
• Married children with their own households usually get their own row and their own invitation.
• If a family is bringing a guest from abroad who is staying with them, add the seat now rather than discovering it on the night.

The bride's side and the groom's side

Each family keeps its own list for the functions it hosts, and agrees numbers for the shared ones. Add a side column (bride or groom), and a circle column (family, friends, office, neighbours) so you can see at a glance where the numbers are going. When the caterer says you have to cut thirty seats, the circle column tells you where to look.

Plus-ones and children

Plus-ones are less common in Pakistan than in the West, because invitations already go to families. They come up with friends of the couple and with colleagues. Be explicit: if you are inviting a colleague alone, the invitation should say one seat.

Children are usually welcome, and many families would be hurt if they were not. If you are limiting numbers, it is kinder to count children in the family's seats than to write “no children” on the card. If a function genuinely is adults only, say so gently in the message and explain why, such as a small venue or a late finish.

Spreadsheet columns that work

Who follows up with whom

The “invited by” column is the one families forget and later wish they had. Your mother's college friends will reply to her, not to you. Your father's colleagues will reply to him. When replies are slow, you need to know whose phone to hand over.

From spreadsheet to invitations

Once the list exists, sending is the easy part. With the Guest List package on InviteGala you can add guests one at a time or paste your list, then tick which functions each family is invited to and how many seats. Each family gets a private link that greets them by name and shows only their functions; each row has a WhatsApp button with the message already typed; and you can see who is not sent, sent, opened or replied. More in private guest links explained and the FAQ.